twilight33: (moon)
9 years ago around this time, I was packing to leave California for good.

Exactly 4 years ago today, I began the journey to finishing my BA although I was too mortified at the time to be up front about it. I didn't even tell my mom until she saw my admission certificate on the fridge...

Today on my MS journey, I followed instinct to turn in my first draft of my major database project just after 6 Central although the actual deadline is 10 Central.

With 10 minutes til then, I clicked on my class site to find...

Error 404--Not Found
From RFC 2068 Hypertext Transfer Protocol -- HTTP/1.1:
10.4.5 404 Not Found
The server has not found anything matching the Request-URI. No indication is given of whether the condition is temporary or permanent.

If the server does not wish to make this information available to the client, the status code 403 (Forbidden) can be used instead. The 410 (Gone) status code SHOULD be used if the server knows, through some internally configurable mechanism, that an old resource is permanently unavailable and has no forwarding address.

With 7 minutes to go it just corrected itself, but I like sparing myself major heart attacks.
twilight33: (Default)
About that 95%...

It's up to 97% and may jump into the 99% range depending on last night because I keep getting 100% plus extra credit points on the pop quizzes.

My prof & I have been emailing, and I uploaded my final project template and the introduction/bibliography sections so she could see where my focus is. Her response? So fun! I love it. The PDA with the quill is great as well... I love your topic, really fascinating.

Eight days. 8!


Aug. 4th, 2005 07:30 pm
twilight33: (Default)
Let's see...

Commuting to a 3rd floor computer lab with no A/C and temps in the high 80s or lurking in the cool finished basement?

Entering hack codes for old software I'm familiar with or putzing around with fancy schmancy stuff I'm not?

Yeah, like that was hard.

I have my revised template up & running, bibliography finalized and APA formatted, emailed my prof a question and I do believe it's beer thirty!


Aug. 3rd, 2005 11:45 am
twilight33: (Default)
Not quarters.
Not months.
Not weeks.
Four more nights of class
And I am done with undergrad work forever.

I also managed to pull a first in my UW academic career, possibly my collegiate but I don't remember: I did worse on my second paper than my first when the rest of the class did better! Woohoo!

Does Ms. 3.98 GPA care that her slacker butt only has a 95% in this class so far?


Is she recycling her web template from last spring's final project for this one and skipping out on the lab time where everyone else is creating theirs?


Viva summer senioritis!
twilight33: (Default)
I found myself in a desert called Cyberland. I woke up this morning to the sound of footed pajamas on a hardwood floor & 'Mama? Drink of milk please?' and realized that anthropology is fun but not where I'm supposed to be headed. Class back in February brought a hint of what was in store for me yesterday.
Come on, sir, moo with me )

That applies to just about everything in sociocultural anthropology, and I never want to put someone in that position. How can an outsider truly understand that even the sight of a nick after years of silence can still bring feelings ranging from overwhelming love to infuriating rage?
twilight33: (Default)
You will probably not hear a peep of whining about my summer class. It's very easy for me to forget in the 12+ years I've been traipsing around the net that everyone can surf but many don't have a clue about the mechanics of it. Last night we were taught how to hammer out HTML in Notepad & FTP it. I tried going at the prof's pace, but finally I couldn't stand it anymore and half listened as I went my own way. Everyone else uploaded blank white pages with one or two lines of blank text for their starter pages. Mine was purple with an alt-tagged and centered Jedi picture of Kieran from his birthday, some bullets about me with hyperlinks, and my scrambled email (the AT and DOT stuff). I refuse to do a clickable link since I have enough email volume at work and the spam filter for the university misses a fair chunk of crap already.

I helped out a few students sitting near me, and was slightly amused when the prof began losing a bit of patience with those who truly still didn't get it after over two hours. Those nearby me looked at my purple Kieran page and thought I was some internet goddess. I humbly replied that I've just been online and around geeks for a dozen years and can do basic stuff by osmosis. I deliberately have no web page to my name now, and am a borderline Neo-Luddite. In fact, I'm considering doing my research project this quarter regarding the lovely paradox of disseminating information about Neo-Luddism on... the internet. It's just too funny to pass up.

The one thing about class last night that grated on me worse than fingernails on archaic chalkboards which are a rare sight on campus now?

The prof kept calling gifs 'jifs'. Is there a J in the word gif? NO! It's GIFS, like gifts without the T! AGGGGH!

Calm blue ocean. Fulfill residency requirements & complete your Communication major, admire how far COMS has come with the internet since you left it in California, float on ok.
twilight33: (Default)
Who are we online? How are online identities different from our offline identities? Is playing with identity online dangerous? How has digital communication impacted our understanding of ourselves as well as others? What stereotypes does digital culture promote or dissuade in terms of race, gender, and sexuality? What inequalities persist in digital spaces, how do they manifest?

Class will be fun, this is week 5's agenda and I got a round of applause for saying that this is my last class to graduate. I have left my 'OMG must maintain 4.0 GPA!' mindset to the previous quarters, I'll do my best but not overanalyze everything I turn in. Life's too short and it's easy for me to forget both that & how to play... plus I already have my letter of recommendation profs lined up for any future MA.


Jun. 14th, 2005 07:51 pm
twilight33: (kieran)

I'm Not A Geek, I'M NOT A GEEK!
(but you are dressed as one)
5 credits left til it's a done deal!

I got my final paper back in the mail today with, "Once again, you BLOW my little mind into bits/pieces. XLNT synthesis, great material, clarity and vision. Graduate, rest, come back to graduate work..."

A high compliment because this same prof scared the shit out of me my second quarter back in school, and it's made all the difference in the entire journey. That reminds me, I have to email my old mentor the picture of me in front of the Communications building here on commencement day...
twilight33: (Default)

Just a little happy this quarter is over with only an 8 week summer class (possibly a final, who knows) for my BA. For now, I have two whole weeks free!

And no, I didn't drive home drunk even though our last class consisted of homemade blackberry vodka.
twilight33: (Default)
"But in seeking to cut the ground from under its opponents' feet, postmodernism finds itself unavoidably pulling the rug out from under itself, leaving itself with no more reason why we should resist fascism than the feebly pragmatic plea that fascism is not the way we do things in Sussex or Sacramento." (pg.28)

Eagleton, Terry 1996. The Illusions of Postmodernism. Oxford: Blackwell Publishers.

In the midst of trying to comprehend extreme Oxford drunken (according to my prof) professorese in this book, this quote caught me off guard & cracked me up. He clearly has never seen the insurance lobbying agency & their tactics in the State legislature in my fair hometown.

I know I said I'd write about the other book I finished for class, here's a stab at it but it's so wide-ranging that I'm still leaving a lot out. It's Race in North America - Origin and Evolution of a Worldview by Audrey Smedley. It explores the roots of the cultural myth of race as a system to establish inequality (England's view of 11th century Irish is an early precursor), through the entrenching of it in American slavery through the 19th century (although there were more Irish than African slaves initially), the unscientific methodologies used by science to justify racial categories (Louis Agassiz was a right bastard in this regard), how a 2nd century Roman guy's writing (Tacitus) led a late 17th century French guy (Boulainvilliers) to essentially create a biological myth called Anglo-Saxonism (whose ardent followers included Thomas Jefferson & Hitler), and how all this crap is still perpetuating itself today both openly and underneath PC veneers of 'cultural diversity'.

This book and one from a previous class (Decolonizing Methodologies by Linda Tuhiwai Smith) sum up my views in anthropology which aren't exactly mainstream. We had a discussion in class last night about the bureaucracy and how to play with situations to make them a cost benefit to the Dean & further improve the impression of the anthropology department because they're not after undergrads... they want more graduate students, prestige & grants. The prof & I gave each other a knowing nod & wink because now we've both spun the educational bureaucracy game in our favor. I am really going to miss being on both the employee & student side of the game after I graduate, but even though graduate studies won't work out for me right now I have a feeling I'll be back.
twilight33: (Default)
or something like that, I'm having trouble admitting I really like that new Beck song even though I can't make out most of it...

I partially bombed the test tonight in class, and the bonus questions won't save me because I had no clue what they were either. Que sera, sera, yadda yadda.

Tonight was still worth it as I had a rather surreal moment when the professor was talking about some information that I knew for a fact was wrong. When she asked the class for input, smartass me had to pipe up & rattle off what I've learned from previous classes with backup from one of my former classmates. Good COM major I am, I cited my sources, and the prof asked me for a writeup of my notes later 'if it wasn't too much trouble' and wrote down the name of one of them.

Then I sat back and realized that I'm obviously in good graces with this prof, and what I say is considered relatively credible to her at face value. A step further, I'm an articulate white chick talking about a culture that is not my own while sitting in a classroom of privilege that (no matter how we like to delude ourselves about higher education being available to all) is not accessible to the average citizen.

I've thought before about all the excuses and reasons everyone gives for minorities not doing well in school, but it didn't strike me on such an emotional level until now. If I, white chick, had such a gut reaction of 'NO! that's not right!', it must be a hundred times worse for kids of misrepresented cultures to sit in elementary school classrooms where teachers wield unquestionable authority to endure their education without being able to say 'NO! that's not right!'

Cultural advocacy; it's something I keep thinking & acting upon when I can, but I keep having this feeling that it's leading to some bigger picture I can't see yet.
twilight33: (Default)
The rest of my class picked the easier essay question as well for our midterm with a just few exceptions, and before our prof handed them out last night she said she typed up 'a really good essay' & copied it as a handout to pick up during our break.

I got my bluebook back, a perfect score with 'thank you!' written under the grade. Then I picked up the handout, and after a few sentences realized my essay was the one she used.

I'm not certain I've ever felt this combination of pride & embarrassment before.

This all puzzles me though, as I appear to be headed for a 6th quarter in a row of a 4.0. I do only have one class a quarter, but I have plenty that I'm juggling otherwise so my entire focus in life isn't school. The classes have all challenged me and I've learned a great deal from each one, so I'm not coasting through on easy material either. One thing I have noticed is that I study the prof more than the material the first week or so, and I seem to be able to figure out what makes each one tick and adapt my writing & class discussion style accordingly. Maybe I'm a chameleon?

As my beloved psychotic prof I've had twice & will have again next quarter has taught me, it's pretty much all a game of power. I added a dash of theory from his classes in my final midterm paragraph, and that may be what bumped mine to model status. Hopefully the two students I know who have also had the psycho prof won't suddenly know I wrote the essay because of it!
twilight33: (Default)
I have been trying to write one entry after another the past few days and end up deleting all of them because none of them sound right.

Here's where I'm at:

  • Communication accepted my application, so I'm officially a double major with an anthropology minor
  • Might start graduate classes 3 months earlier than planned
  • I honestly like my job and enjoy working
  • I honestly like being a student and enjoy learning
  • I honestly like taking care of Kieran half a day then going to work and school the other half
  • Why do I feel so defensive about this when I, my husband & Kieran know it doesn't make me any less of a mom and nobody else's opinion matters?
Ah, the joys of not fitting into any nice maternal classification pigeonhole...
twilight33: (Default)
I realized I haven't talked about my class this quarter, which is studying the Native art of the Pacific Northwest coast. I'm not so certain I'll get a 4.0 because I don't do well with rote memorization of art details for tests, but I'm having fun nonetheless. Our professor explained her background & mentors at the beginning of the quarter, and I'm glad I paid attention because I unexpectedly met them today.

Research and meeting cool art people )

I was way too embarrassed to give an art history legend a piece of 80s tourist art to identify after that encounter!

It's a go

Jan. 19th, 2005 01:55 pm
twilight33: (Default)
I just got off the phone with the graduate program at Communications, they definitely accept people with the tuition exemption program and have in the past. She even said it would be to my benefit to note in my application essay that I am planning on using the tuition exemption program since the department wouldn't have to find funding for me!

If things go well, I'll start graduate classes the week of March 27, 2006 paid for in full (less a $30 fee, a graduate class is currently $1,963 including that fee) thanks to my employer. The caveat is that there is space available in the class on the third day of the quarter, but all of the graduate courses have space available in them now (3rd week of the quarter) so I'm not too concerned.

My mom isn't too supportive, but her focus is 'What would you do with that?' I made up some BS answer about getting into management, but the truth is I don't know & I don't care what I 'do' with an MA. I love learning & want to continue after I earn my BA in August, have a flexible part-time work schedule, and an opportunity to earn an MA essentially for free. I'd be incredibly stupid to pass this up, I know my future holds a lot less flexibility than what I have now.
twilight33: (Default)
I haven't really mentioned my new class that started this week, because to be perfectly honest I'm still not quite sure what to make of it. About 75% of me wants to run screaming, but the other 25% is intrigued by the challenge and the fact that I'm not comfortable with it.

The class is absolutely not as advertised by the generic class description I registered for. As the prof wrote in the syllabus, "Know that this format is different for each student - challenging all, amusing many, unnerving some, even angering a few. The rumors are that I am hyper, intense, passionate and prone to abstraction. All are true!... Moreover, I think and speak in a specific Althusserian struggle where human agency and capacity are always tied to ideology and power."

On top of that he says (although the system doesn't, yet) it's a W course, meaning writing-intensive. This is a category I've been meaning to shy away from until next year as I get these rusty collegiate gears running smoothly, especially where critical thinking is concerned. My discomfort stems from the fact that I haven't done this in a constructive and organized fashion for a long period of time, and my entire grade rests on my ability to do so in 3 papers & 1 class presentation.

Can I pull this off? At the moment I have no idea. In the span of just two classes I've been acutely reminded that I've lost forgotten misplaced(?) a lot of the spirit that my old mentor who was the Minister of Education for the Yippies (I am not making this up) inspired & encouraged in me. I still have his letter of recomendation & the email with the assurance of "Good luck with school. You'll finish your BA, I know." pinned on my cubicle wall. I have a gut feeling that if I stick it out this will be one of the most rewarding classes I'll have ever taken, right up there along with my work on Project Censored ages ago.

We shall see...


Jul. 31st, 2003 10:17 am
twilight33: (Default)
All midterms & papers are over, and class last night just about killed all of us on the third floor of the Art building. It was stuffy & warm enough to begin with, but adding 25 bodies to the room made it far worse. About a third of the class bailed during break, then the prof had mercy on the rest of us and dismissed class a half hour early. It'll be really interesting to read over those notes to see if they make any sense at all.

Kieran is walking! When I got home from class we were watching him cruise the furniture, and Ryan commented how he'd definitely be walking by 14 months. I countered with saying that he could be taking just a few steps for a long time to come... then Kieran casually walked halfway across the room. He did a few more encores of up to 15 steps before bed, and this morning has gone the same length a few times.

Kieran never got sick, I feel fine, and now Ryan's home from work with a fever. We're apparently just screwed this summer for illness or something.
twilight33: (Default)
Ryan & I both have had some weird cramping-type stomach virus all weekend that we intially thought was food poisoning but it's gone on for too long to be that. Now we just have our fingers crossed that Kieran doesn't get it because it really is quite painful.

On top of that, my French midterm didn't go so well. Traffic was a bit worse than I had anticipated, plus I sailed right by the huge sign that indicated the temporary library location directly across from the Convention Center so I ran late (which I hate more than anything) & was stressed out. I'm not worried about it though, as long as I pass the class I get to check off the GE requirement. The grade isn't even part of my UW GPA, so I'm letting that go and focusing again on the A for art history.

That reminds me, I have to go check the online reserves to see if my prof put up the slide of the demons eating human sushi again. I had no idea that Buddhism could be so macabre, but in a sick way I kind of enjoy it!
twilight33: (Default)
So, just what the hell was I talking about here? I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes because I can finally tell my secret. Very long & rambly 'get on with it!' Monty Pythonesque revelation )

So, there you have it. I suck. But I'll be damned if I fail this time.
twilight33: (Default)
So a while ago I was talking about an appointment to start fixing some mistakes I've made. At that time, I was informed about two things I needed to put in motion. One started on our anniversary, the other was completed yesterday. Now I have to wait a while for the next step to be done by others, and once it is I'll spill what I'm up to. I'm very nervous about either failing (again) or being thought of as a failure for going through this in the first place, so it'll be an anxious wait.

A very long time ago, an Alarm song used to motivate me when life repeatedly knocked me flat on my butt and it's come back to my mind today.

I can't give in 'til the sky turns black )

It's meant many different things to me depending on where I was in my life, and I forgot all about it when I made the mistakes I did. Not this time.


twilight33: (Default)

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