Flying naked (it's not just for bad dreams anymore).
The federal TSA today announced new security measure for the nation's airports: Passengers will be required to check all luggage and personal items, including the clothing they wore to the airport.
"Yes," TSA ommander Albert Fandango said, "the onlyway we can insure safe air travel is by requiring passengers to fly naked." He added that the government would do its best to work with the airlines to maintain "comfortable" cabin temperatures for flights lasting longer than three hours and that, to insure that the privacy and dignity of the passengers is maintained, they will be allowed to board behind a curtain—although male and female TSA agents would be monitoring all embarkations. Agents, he said, would be prohibited from giggling or gesturing unnecessarily.
"This will make flying safer than ever—there will be no way a terrorist could smuggle an explosive devise or weapon onboard," Fandango said. When a reporter asked about the possibility of a terrorist concealing a device within a body cavity, Fandango replied, "We've got that covered" and displayed a pair of disposable latex gloves.
The next step in protecting America
The federal TSA today announced new security measure for the nation's airports: Passengers will be required to check all luggage and personal items, including the clothing they wore to the airport.
"Yes," TSA ommander Albert Fandango said, "the onlyway we can insure safe air travel is by requiring passengers to fly naked." He added that the government would do its best to work with the airlines to maintain "comfortable" cabin temperatures for flights lasting longer than three hours and that, to insure that the privacy and dignity of the passengers is maintained, they will be allowed to board behind a curtain—although male and female TSA agents would be monitoring all embarkations. Agents, he said, would be prohibited from giggling or gesturing unnecessarily.
"This will make flying safer than ever—there will be no way a terrorist could smuggle an explosive devise or weapon onboard," Fandango said. When a reporter asked about the possibility of a terrorist concealing a device within a body cavity, Fandango replied, "We've got that covered" and displayed a pair of disposable latex gloves.