Ollie ollie in come free, baby

April was stuck in neutral, pumping the gas pedal repeatedly wondering why I wasn't going anywhere.

May shifted to drive, and VROOOM! Things I spoke as possibility last Monday are reality today, and on track for even better things come Wednesday.

Progress and merciless pruning in the yard works wonders on the psyche.

Like a roll call of all the suburban dreams

I got home from work today to find a card from a business colleague in the mail. It is possibly the most touching card anyone besides my husband has ever sent me and I wanted to share the front of it.

i beg you... to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. and the point is, to live everything. live the questions now. perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live you way into the answer... - rainier maria rilke, quotable cards

This was very present on my mind as we all hit the mall in search of mass quantities of cards and my birthday panties from Victoria's Secret (how God told me to enjoy the silence), all while various Pet Shop Boys songs were running through my mind. If, when, why, what? How much have you got? Have you got it, do you get it, if so, how often? Which do you choose, a hard or soft option?

live the questions now.

My breath was literally taken away in the middle of Hallmark by a cutting board that reminded me so much of my grandma. It sounds completely ridiculous but I knew she wanted me to get it for my birthday to replace our battered old one... or maybe to help celebrate her 82nd, which would have been last week. It's tempered glass with a hummingbird, a beautiful yet functional splash of color in an otherwise blah corner of our kitchen. Thanks Grandma Dot.

It's become a family habit to get a large Blizzard and share it the rare times we go to the mall. We watched the hordes of after school teens and I laughed and said that one day Kieran would be one of them, completely mortified by the fact that he loved hanging out with his parents there once. My little almost-4 boy had a face full of chocolate smiles, one hand firmly on the cup with the other grasping a long spoon to get the last bit of Brownie Batter (definitely a repeat this month!) at the bottom, and I watched him for a long time to soak it in.

There is so much joy in living now, in everyday life. I don't know why I keep having these realizations at the mall. It probably means we need to get out more often.