Diffused Illumination

On New Year's Day 1998, I woke up early as usual and looked around a house full of passed out people in north Seattle. Some of you were there, some of you weren't, and I... needed to get moving to think for a while. I jumped in my rental car, went to fill up the gas tank, and began driving without a clear destination in mind.

I ended up in Ocean Shores, over 140 miles away, but only stayed there for a few minutes before driving back to Seattle.

Why so soon when I adore the ocean and it takes forever to be able to see it in Washington?

Because for the life of me, I could find neither my shoes nor socks in the sea of slumbering humanity so I took off without them.

I do not recommend driving hundreds of miles or walking on a blustery and rainy Washington beach barefoot in the dead of winter. Getting gas at the station wasn't so fun either.

( I've never been back again until today )

Bonne année 2008, mes amis.

Despite being rained out toward the end we had a great time at the zoo this morning complete with making crafts. Kieran did an excellent job singing with his double-sized (morning and evening) choir in front of an insane number of people this afternoon. He was really into the entire service (how could you not be with singing and dancing glow angels?), and the look on his face when we lit candles around the sanctuary is one of those freeze-frame moments of life I'll always have. He could hardly wait to light our Advent wreath candles when we got home.

There's the presents, the Chinese food on our wedding china, toasting in some ancient Spode Christmas Tree goblets (Kieran got to join in with sparkling cider in our crystal), baking the Christmas roll for tomorrow's breakfast (massive pastry in a pizza dish, recipe from friends our first married Christmas), and setting out cookies & milk for Santa and apples for the reindeer (he actually fed a reindeer some apple yesterday, that was A Major Moment), then curling up on the couch all together to read 'The Night Before Christmas' before bed. He crashed hard & fast, poor tired and extremely excited boy.

What still makes me tear up the most despite all these wonderful things?
( The answer )

Peace.

Email from my aunt in Colorado:

We are fine. Should be worse tonight, then maybe better by Thursday afternoon. Snow plow got stuck in front of the house today....slid and skid and spun for about 5 minutes before it got going. It is intense. We are safe and warm. Love to you!

Their best friends in CA couldn't fly out today to join them for Christmas :( All are very disappointed but thankful they didn't get rerouted inflight to who knows where since Denver is closed for the foreseeable future.

One of my favorite books when I was young was Little House in the Big Woods.

My mom now lives in the modern west coast equivalent; a little 3 bed/2 bath place surrounded by old growth cedars & firs, a non-flooding brook, misty mountains with a faint dusting of snow on top, and an almost disturbing lack of freeway/city/people in general noise although not too isolated either.

The 4 of us plowed through 1 of my 2 pumpkin pies in under 24 hours, and the free-range turkey was excellent. Today was our 6th annual Black Friday tradition at Freddy's (it's all about free donut holes for breakfast) where we scored everything from 20% off my husband's FFXII to 60% off a winter coat for Kieran complete with an accurate compass.

I'm not sure if it's more sad that I logged on to my classes yesterday afternoon, or that assignments due Wednesday night were already graded for me.

Hope all are well, safe, stuffed & warm.. snow in the lowlands Sunday & Monday?!

I know that somewhere in LJ I've previously explained that my mom & I renamed our holiday Festive Fudge recipe to Boobs & Bombs (B&B) Fudge on January 16, 1991 with the start of the Gulf War and the news that my mom had a suspicious looking breast tumor on the same day. It was too much for us to process, so we made fudge. Prior to that day it was sacrosanct to Christmas, but in addition to the holiday season it's seen my friends & I through many a pregnancy scare, death, hospitalizations & assorted other crisis situations.

On November 25, 2005 the two of us handled another crisis by making the fudge and renaming it to Boobs/ Bombs/Tree Fudge.

( The story of the Black Friday tree )

After that, we made the fudge. The moral of the story is that I'm getting my mom more emergency supplies as part of her Christmas present after observing the underwhelming amount of communication regarding what could have been a very nasty situation.

So, how was your Thanksgiving holiday?

Thank you, my friends, for reminding me of the above yesterday in relation to the Orajel (beer, le_merle? Well it could have been worse with straight whiskey I suppose). I have a tendency to hang out on online parenting forums that swing more toward uber-granola than I am. I may have gone to Granola U and steadfastly wear my Birks no matter how hard it's raining outside, but otherwise I'm about as un-crunchy as you can get when it comes to real life.

I had a major freakout this morning when Kieran's cheeks turned bright red for 15 minutes after feeding him carrots. I posted to one of the before-mentioned uber-granola boards... and they reminded me that red cheeks are a part of teething, which was further corroborated by a nurse I called. Oops.

The thing I'm most thankful for this year is obviously Kieran. I'm slightly sad this New Year's Eve in the fact that starting tomorrow I'll have to say he was born last year. Time has flown by way too fast. I just hope I don't mess up too badly along the way and seriously damage him. I know minor neuroses are a given, I survived mine from my parents (I think) and Kieran probably will too.

I wonder how on earth I'm going to swing this parenting thing for the rest of my life when I barely have a clue what I'm doing sometimes (i.e. overreacting about the carrots). Then Kieran looks at me with these adoring eyes, smiles with all he's got (I love how babies are completely unrestrained with smiles, it's sad that that trait vanishes when we're older) & laughs, and I don't worry so much anymore.

From my aunt, who is now separated from a marriage that had lasted forever... My Christmas wish for you is for a lifetime of love and happiness. You so deserve it. I'm glad that you are happy and that you have been blessed with a loving relationship and a beautiful baby.

Yes, I burst into tears after reading it.

I have to revise what I said yesterday. I'm now 1 pound away from pre-pregnancy weight and wearing my skinny jeans again. Not too bad considering my goal was to be back to normal by the time Kieran was 6 months old and he's just over 5 months. He must be gaining the weight I'm losing, at 5 months exact he was a little over 17.5 pounds but he feels heavier than that the past few days.

We're back on track for Christmas stuff, now all I have to do is stamp the cards and wait for orders to arrive & wrap up. Kieran is quite intrigued by the Christmas tree, it's a very good thing he isn't mobile yet or we'd be in big trouble keeping him away from the lights & ornaments.

Now if only it would start acting like winter around here... mild temperatures & sunshine is what I moved here to escape from!