Baby, I love you, but I just won't smile

Did anyone else ever play this game at camp? The person who was it would target someone else in a circle and do & say anything possible (except tickle, which wasn't allowed) to get that person to smile & include the phrase 'Baby, if you love me, won't you please smile?' as part of it. I used to be really good at the stone-faced reply above along with nary a smirk. I doubt I would be now because everything makes me crack up, but I bet I'd still kick ass at Kissing Rugby.

I was reminded of the game this morning when I took Kieran in for a second attempt at portraits. The first attempt was last week, when he was really cranky and burst into tears at the second pose before we called it quits. Today was without tears, but no smiles & he shot back the same stoic face I remember using during the game. He combined it with one of the most beautiful wide eyed looks he's ever done though, so I'm happy and can't wait to get the prints back.

I found a mix tape over the weekend that I made when I was home on winter break from my freshman year at Sonoma State. Oh how I laughed my ass off. No wonder I was such an emotional wreck those days, there was entirely too much Morrissey on it for anyone's mental state to be classified as healthy! I chose songs that reminded me of various people in my life that I thought would always be there. Out of 8, only one has remained a constant through the years... another was lost for a long time but back in touch now.

That struck me as very sad. I see myself at a similar life transition point now as then, with lots of new people that I see constantly in my life role as a mom, and wonder what's ahead.

Not again

Sometimes I really hate my boss. Instead of increasing my hours, she wants to 'bring in help'. Just what I want to do, waste even more time I don't have training some temp who will make mistakes that I ultimately have to take the blame for and fix later, then they'll move on to a better job & I get to repeat the process over again. Give ME the extra hours & money, lady! Grr.

Damned Scorpio moon

I jumped on the warpath way too soon with the work situation, which is typical for my emotions & I to assume the automatic worst thing possible.

My supervisor wasn't after getting a temp; she was all set to hire another person on a 50% time basis to make this a full time job! When I convinced her there wasn't that much extra work, only enough for one 60-75% position, she seemed worried.

It never dawned on her that I would be willing to work extra hours, and starting today I'm now on 60% time until we add this extra unit. Then we'll see how things go as to whether or not we need to add more to it. Complete flexibility is mine as I choose and is needed for work hours and working from home.

I really have to reign in that worst assumption thing I do. It's almost gotten me in serious trouble more times than I can count and is not what I want to model for Kieran.