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all I ever wanted, all I ever needed...
May. 17th, 2004 02:12 pmThis weekend, I finally figured out why I haven't been all that excited about my birthday since Kieran was born. This year is tops, as the day goes on I honestly keep forgetting about it until I get another email or phone call reminding me!
My birthday used to symbolize The Day I'd Get Something Cool. I can still remember that anticipation & see it in my eyes when looking back on pictures from when I was little. As I got older, it was an excuse to party (and still get cool things) and reach those milestone years.
We had so much fun this weekend, from completely pigging out for dinner with 50% off the whole bill (I did have to sing La Cucaracha for that one), really awesome future-plans & reflections conversations with my soulmate, running around the yard where sometimes I wasn't sure who was laughing hardest, then quiet evening solitude as I gardened after Kieran went to bed & Ryan relaxed with his PS2.
I realized I already have everything I want. Seriously. Sharing life with my husband and son moves me to tears of happiness some days. Gradually digging out 2 years of severe overgrowth (you try gardening while in the third trimester or when your baby is crawling and sticking everything in his mouth, it doesn't happen) has me thrilled with each rediscovery of a forgotten perennial or another granite boulder in the rock garden.
It sounds so ridiculously simplistic, but I'd forgotten that at the core that's who I really am. To return to this true self is utter bliss and hopefully I'll never wander from the path in the name of trying to keep up with the world again.
My birthday used to symbolize The Day I'd Get Something Cool. I can still remember that anticipation & see it in my eyes when looking back on pictures from when I was little. As I got older, it was an excuse to party (and still get cool things) and reach those milestone years.
We had so much fun this weekend, from completely pigging out for dinner with 50% off the whole bill (I did have to sing La Cucaracha for that one), really awesome future-plans & reflections conversations with my soulmate, running around the yard where sometimes I wasn't sure who was laughing hardest, then quiet evening solitude as I gardened after Kieran went to bed & Ryan relaxed with his PS2.
I realized I already have everything I want. Seriously. Sharing life with my husband and son moves me to tears of happiness some days. Gradually digging out 2 years of severe overgrowth (you try gardening while in the third trimester or when your baby is crawling and sticking everything in his mouth, it doesn't happen) has me thrilled with each rediscovery of a forgotten perennial or another granite boulder in the rock garden.
It sounds so ridiculously simplistic, but I'd forgotten that at the core that's who I really am. To return to this true self is utter bliss and hopefully I'll never wander from the path in the name of trying to keep up with the world again.
