Diffused Illumination

A dental hygienist!

I just know you all want to join in the merriment and delight of hauling your 4-year-old son out the door at 7:45 on a Saturday morning & assist with affixing sealants on his bottom 4 molars, right?

Actually he did really well in terms of holding still & cooperating, it's convincing him that his tongue doesn't have to explore all the instruments in his mouth every .001 seconds that is the challenge. We'll do the top 4 in September.

Add to that grocery shopping, getting gas & the car washed and I'm ready to call it a morning even though it isn't 10 yet.

I love misheard lyrics & always have. I said the pledge of allegiance to 'one God, invisible' until at least 6th grade, mangled assorted 80s songs (anyone else for DM's 'didn't buy a car, ended up on a life support machine'?) and find KissThisGuy an endless source of amusement.

Today marks the dawning of a new generation.

Kieran happily belted out a Wiggles song this morning, with a lyric that should be 'One little coyote (pronounced kai-yote, which has never sounded right to me) howling at the moon.'

Nope.

'Uncle Kyle's howling at the moon.'

I didn't have enough time to grab the camcorder & digital camera, but immediately turned around & repressed serious laughter so he wouldn't think anything was silly or wrong. Hopefully we can tape a repeat performance this afternoon and send it to Uncle Kyle as well as my mother-in-law.

I got home from work today to find a card from a business colleague in the mail. It is possibly the most touching card anyone besides my husband has ever sent me and I wanted to share the front of it.

i beg you... to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. and the point is, to live everything. live the questions now. perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live you way into the answer... - rainier maria rilke, quotable cards

This was very present on my mind as we all hit the mall in search of mass quantities of cards and my birthday panties from Victoria's Secret (how God told me to enjoy the silence), all while various Pet Shop Boys songs were running through my mind. If, when, why, what? How much have you got? Have you got it, do you get it, if so, how often? Which do you choose, a hard or soft option?

live the questions now.

My breath was literally taken away in the middle of Hallmark by a cutting board that reminded me so much of my grandma. It sounds completely ridiculous but I knew she wanted me to get it for my birthday to replace our battered old one... or maybe to help celebrate her 82nd, which would have been last week. It's tempered glass with a hummingbird, a beautiful yet functional splash of color in an otherwise blah corner of our kitchen. Thanks Grandma Dot.

It's become a family habit to get a large Blizzard and share it the rare times we go to the mall. We watched the hordes of after school teens and I laughed and said that one day Kieran would be one of them, completely mortified by the fact that he loved hanging out with his parents there once. My little almost-4 boy had a face full of chocolate smiles, one hand firmly on the cup with the other grasping a long spoon to get the last bit of Brownie Batter (definitely a repeat this month!) at the bottom, and I watched him for a long time to soak it in.

There is so much joy in living now, in everyday life. I don't know why I keep having these realizations at the mall. It probably means we need to get out more often.

I'm not all that surprised since it didn't smell like it was going to snow on the way home from my volunteer work yesterday plus it was still way too windy last night.

In other news, I now have an image enscribed in my mind when I hear Jr. Asparagus sing While By My Sheep of Kieran looking at his butt in the mirror while madly dancing in his Wiggles underpants. He continued dancing through the other songs in front of the mirror, and was so excited by this narcissistic display of joy that he forgot to go to the toilet and let loose quite the large puddle.

Thank goodness for hardwoods.

Kieran & an older girl (she'll be 5 in November) at preschool have been flirting a lot lately. She alternates between playing tiger growly games with him during lunch or totally ignoring him when he says bye after lunch.

The hilarious part for me is seeing her dad every morning, who looks very much like the typical suburbanite stay at home dad. At least he does now, he didn't 10+ years ago and that's my amusement factor.

He's Dan Peters, drummer for Mudhoney.

So if the previous vice of stealing wasn't enough, when we got home from church (of all places) tonight Kieran & my husband were playing around as usual. Kieran put some cereal in my husband's mouth, then decided he wanted it back and reached in to grab it. He grated his middle finger against a tooth and let out a half-whine of unexpected discomfort.

Then he flipped off my husband and said 'Kiss it, Papa!'

Thank God none of us had to pee at that moment.

I'm not sure what it says about society when this was the reaction to me calling about an undercharge for Kieran's 3 year portraits. This is not just a couple of dollars but $30 worth that wasn't immediately obvious to me because I paid a deposit at the sitting and couldn't remember how much until I added up receipts today.

On the plus side, she insisted on not charging me more despite me asking 'Are you sure?' and said she'd write a note on my account that I called about it. Yay for guiltless freebies!

Most people face this in September, but today was Kieran's first day at 'real' preschool (a non-anal Montessori). The co-op system was fun, but it was more along the lines of a structured playgroup spot than anything else. I spent the time before we left this morning alternating between trying not to cry or throw up (I used to get extremely nervous on the first day of school right through high school), and of course all Kieran had to say was 'Come on, mama, it's time to go to preschool!' ( Come on, come on, let's go! )

Of course I did neither, and chilled out once we went inside. Kieran quickly dumped me, I filled out paperwork and he barely acknowledged my departure. I have to admit I'm glad that the other kids (the school has a maximum of 12 to a teacher & her assistant) were all returning from the regular school year that let out the week before, so he'll have more individual attention in the beginning. He thrives on order & routine even more than I do, so I'm hopeful this will be a good match once he learns how things go there.

Next week I switch my work schedule to be off at 3, both of us finally working at the same time while Kieran's at preschool. I'm so excited about spending more time together as a family and not being so exhausted from caring for Kieran 5 hours straight, then racing off to work for 5 hours straight. Some telecommuting time is juggled in the morning as well, and 10 minutes of commuting while shoving a sandwich in your face for lunch isn't enough downtime for 10 hours of work. I may have given the impression I've had things together and everything is great, but the truth of the matter is this daily schedule plus school has nearly driven me insane since Kieran gave up his morning naptime a few months back. My husband has the easy shift, during his 5 afternoon hours Kieran's asleep for at least 2-2.5 hours.

The weekend was fantastic, we went to Snoqualmie Falls & the zoo where we got to check out Willawong Station. We shared some adult snickers over that one (my husband's middle name is William) but had lots of fun watching several hundred birds suddenly take off and circle overhead several times before settling down again. My icon is of two well-behaved parakeets on my arm. ( These two were not gentle. )

I didn't even realize the irony of the sign in the background until I uploaded our pictures.

(really, I promise I'll quit posting all the time now)

My aunt sent Kieran a Madagascar book that reminds me of Colorforms with the plastic removable stickers & glossy pages. I took a picture of him playing with it this morning and emailled her a thank you. ( rearranging the animals )

Then in the afternoon I got this:

Re: Kierans Pic
Date: Wed, 18 May 2005 22:59:07 +0000


Of course. I am a very good customer. And Kieran is a very cute kid!!!

[I] wrote:

They're actually displaying it? How cool!

-------------- Original message (from my aunt)------------

Is up in the DreamWorks Studio Store!!!!

Of course they might have taken it back down as soon as she left, but DreamWorks is also one of her clients so who knows.

Speaking of pictures, here's one more
( CHOCOLATE CAKE )